What are you talking about, I post Saturday Sketches every Saturday. Houston, we have a dog, and possibly...the funniest comedy sketch...of all time.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
The Saturday Sketch: "Family Flix"
What are you talking about, I post Saturday Sketches every Saturday. Houston, we have a dog, and possibly...the funniest comedy sketch...of all time.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
More Unsubstantiated Rumours About Korea
No One Knows I'm an American as long as I extraneously add the letter 'U' to words.
I have never actually looked at Cyworld, but from what I've been told, it's Korea's Facebook, but with a much higher cultural penetration. And apparently a lot of the girls' profile pics feature them flashing the Victory sign and puffing out their cheeks. I'm not even going to connect the rest of those dots, draw your own conclusions.
Each time I learn a new cultural tidbit like the preceding, I file it away in a mental vault for which the only keys are being within shouting distance of me because I am definitely going to repeat it ad nauseum to anyone I meet. And so, a horrifying prospect about my continued stay in South Korea is that the longer I am here, the more I become a fount of useless knowledge for any foreigner who has been here even one less day than me, even though at this point everything I know is ridiculous hearsay.
Next Time on Merv at the Movies: Fan Death, The Postpartum Seawood Soup Diet, and Why Closing Down the Subway From Midnight to 5 a.m. Will Curb A Nation's Binge-Drinking Even Though There Are Still Places Where You Can Get A Bottle of Soju for 10 Scrents
I have never actually looked at Cyworld, but from what I've been told, it's Korea's Facebook, but with a much higher cultural penetration. And apparently a lot of the girls' profile pics feature them flashing the Victory sign and puffing out their cheeks. I'm not even going to connect the rest of those dots, draw your own conclusions.
Each time I learn a new cultural tidbit like the preceding, I file it away in a mental vault for which the only keys are being within shouting distance of me because I am definitely going to repeat it ad nauseum to anyone I meet. And so, a horrifying prospect about my continued stay in South Korea is that the longer I am here, the more I become a fount of useless knowledge for any foreigner who has been here even one less day than me, even though at this point everything I know is ridiculous hearsay.
Next Time on Merv at the Movies: Fan Death, The Postpartum Seawood Soup Diet, and Why Closing Down the Subway From Midnight to 5 a.m. Will Curb A Nation's Binge-Drinking Even Though There Are Still Places Where You Can Get A Bottle of Soju for 10 Scrents
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Rooftop View
of a bunch of snow
After a 10-day vacation, my first day back at work has been canceled due to snow. There's no reliable internet weather forecast for Korea, but reports have Seoul receiving more than 30cm. The roads around Ilsan are pretty-well cleared and the buses are running, but judging by the snowfall on my roof, I'd say we got near to 40cm or more here.
The first time I thought to visit the roof was just last week, but of course it's a fairly nice view from 15 stories up. If it was a clear day, it might be easier for you to figure out from the last photo that "Man of La Mancha" is coming to the Opera House this month. I will take some more photos of the exact same view on a nicer day.
After a 10-day vacation, my first day back at work has been canceled due to snow. There's no reliable internet weather forecast for Korea, but reports have Seoul receiving more than 30cm. The roads around Ilsan are pretty-well cleared and the buses are running, but judging by the snowfall on my roof, I'd say we got near to 40cm or more here.
The first time I thought to visit the roof was just last week, but of course it's a fairly nice view from 15 stories up. If it was a clear day, it might be easier for you to figure out from the last photo that "Man of La Mancha" is coming to the Opera House this month. I will take some more photos of the exact same view on a nicer day.
Friday, January 01, 2010
My Trip to Nami Island*
*A Report Told Through Interpretative Award-Giving
Well, we did it. We made it through an entire year, and here we stand on the precipice of a new decade, depending on who you ask. I don't even care if it's a new decade or not, which is funny considering how much I cared about whether it was the new millennium or not 10 years ago. I made that point last night, too (when I was celebrating the New Year IN YOUR FUTURE, American Constituency), to which I received the apt response, "Well, what year did you graduate high school?" Good point. P.S. Class of 2000 can eat shit, 2k1 was the first graduating class of the new millennium.
Anyway, end of the year or end of the decade, it's time for the annual awarding of the Evvie, the coveted prize that consists of me declaring with certainty the most eminently rewatchable film of the preceding 12 months. That's it. That's the whole prize. There is no statue. And I have some caveats, too! I have not seen Avatar, Moon, Sherlock Holmes, or Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. However, I did see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
three times. It didn't win.
I also saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
, and even though that was the movie based on a toy that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen should have been, it also didn't win. It came close, though, helped along by the outfits that Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols were poured into, as well as the delight I bring myself every time I see Snake Eyes on the screen and think to myself, "Why do they call you 'Snake Eyes'?" "Because I always losssssse." Ah, a joke that's almost perfect until you remember that Snake Eyes doesn't talk!
Closer still to securing this year's Evvie was Inglourious Basterds
, a film that may not have won, but will still forevermore inform my Italian accent, as well as the way I hold up a finger count (KOREAN CULTURAL FUN FACT #1: In Korea, the thumb is generally number one, not the index finger). Unfortunately, Inglourious Basterds, while eminently watchable, is not eminently rewatchable, as it is long as fuck and features a lot of scenes that you are going to want to skip past during repeat viewings.
No, the clear winner of this year's Evvie and easily the most eminently rewatchable film of 2009 is J.J. Abrams' Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek, a movie that succeeded in achieving the impossible: giving Karl Urban an even better line than "He's the holy Half-Dead who has seen the Underverse," with "Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence. Yeah, well, I got nowhere else to go. My ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones." I mean, hell, that's good enough to take the prize right there, but then they went ahead and painted Rachel Nichols green, fer chrissakes, proving that in the age-old sexiness debate between skintight latex battlesuit and green skin, well...
three times. It didn't win.I also saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
, and even though that was the movie based on a toy that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen should have been, it also didn't win. It came close, though, helped along by the outfits that Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols were poured into, as well as the delight I bring myself every time I see Snake Eyes on the screen and think to myself, "Why do they call you 'Snake Eyes'?" "Because I always losssssse." Ah, a joke that's almost perfect until you remember that Snake Eyes doesn't talk!Closer still to securing this year's Evvie was Inglourious Basterds
, a film that may not have won, but will still forevermore inform my Italian accent, as well as the way I hold up a finger count (KOREAN CULTURAL FUN FACT #1: In Korea, the thumb is generally number one, not the index finger). Unfortunately, Inglourious Basterds, while eminently watchable, is not eminently rewatchable, as it is long as fuck and features a lot of scenes that you are going to want to skip past during repeat viewings.No, the clear winner of this year's Evvie and easily the most eminently rewatchable film of 2009 is J.J. Abrams' Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek, a movie that succeeded in achieving the impossible: giving Karl Urban an even better line than "He's the holy Half-Dead who has seen the Underverse," with "Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence. Yeah, well, I got nowhere else to go. My ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones." I mean, hell, that's good enough to take the prize right there, but then they went ahead and painted Rachel Nichols green, fer chrissakes, proving that in the age-old sexiness debate between skintight latex battlesuit and green skin, well...
So that was the year in movies. And She-Hulk imagery, for that matter. Moving on to the category of music, what track was so good that if I had a hard-copy of it, said hard-copy would have melted from eminent replayability? A true conundrum, as ironically one of only two actual physical albums I bought in 2009 was the Lonely Island's Incredibad, a vinyl LP that came with a free download of the album anyway. Still, Julian Casablancas' guest vocals on "Boombox" was my joint for a good chunk of time, until Casablancas released the even more eminently replayable track "11th Dimension"
later in the year.
The other actual physical album I bought was done halfway as an excuse to get a bag that says Evan Records, but also halfway because it is awesome as hell. D.I.S.C.O
is so eminently replayable that I am outright shocked that I get such bewildered reactions from Koreans who I tell I like it. Seriously, do you know the kind of shit they listen to here? Brain-crushingly awful 가유, and apparently 엄정화 is too, um, poppy (trite? sugary? something, anyway) for most people. I can't explain it! But it was technically released in 2008, so it gets the 2009 retroactive Evvie for 2008's most eminently replayable track.
Other tracks that helped me continue on my way to permanent hearing loss and the honorary and particular Evvies I bestow upon them:
later in the year.The other actual physical album I bought was done halfway as an excuse to get a bag that says Evan Records, but also halfway because it is awesome as hell. D.I.S.C.O
is so eminently replayable that I am outright shocked that I get such bewildered reactions from Koreans who I tell I like it. Seriously, do you know the kind of shit they listen to here? Brain-crushingly awful 가유, and apparently 엄정화 is too, um, poppy (trite? sugary? something, anyway) for most people. I can't explain it! But it was technically released in 2008, so it gets the 2009 retroactive Evvie for 2008's most eminently replayable track.Other tracks that helped me continue on my way to permanent hearing loss and the honorary and particular Evvies I bestow upon them:
- Robbie Williams' "Bodies," taking the Evvie for
best track with which to banish fat and boost metabolism
- Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce, "Telephone
," wins the Evvie for first club track that I have only ever heard in Korea and therefore have no American mental associations with
- Drake and a bunch of other dudes with "Forever," with the Evvie for only listening to the chorus because honestly, Eminem and Kanye are so fuckin' awful
- Late Night Alumni's "You Can Be The One (Sultan & Ned Shepard Remix),"
Evvie for hitting the fog machine mist release at 3:51, dude i am rollin' balls right now
- Whitney Houston - "Million Dollar Bill (Freemasons Club Mix)
" - Evvie for track I'm not even sure how it got here, probably Nick downloaded it while I wasn't looking
- Shiny Toy Guns - "Starts With One (Classixx Remix)
" - "You Have No Idea How Much I Have to Resist Just Putting Up The Gabriel & Dresden Remix of 'You Are the One' I Know It's Like 3 Years Old I DON'T CARE" Evvie
- Phoenix - "1901
" - After the sixth TV show you hear it on, you just end up going with it Evvie
- Annie - "Bad Times
" - Epic Regret Evvie
- "The Meadow" - Love Theme From The Twilight Saga: New Moon
by Alexandre Desplat - "Let me get this straight: The werewolf imprints the vampire's baby so that she has no choice but to grow up to love and depend on him? That is hott" Evvie
- Tiesto - "Here On Earth" (Feat. Cary Brothers)
- Tiesto Impressions Are the Best Impressions Evvie
- E-603 - "Wanna Get Low" - Tell it to my heart Evvie
Yeah, so. Happy New Year. I've been up to stuff, too.
As you can see.
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