Stride Gum really IS my kryptonite.

In the chewing gum world, only two things matter. One is image. The other is ridiculously long-lasting flavor. And if you have been watching Smallville lately, you know that the gum with the coolest image and the ridiculously longest-lasting flavor is Stride. You know this because developments in Stride culture are now the only thing the characters talk about.

One thing that does not matter in the chewing gum world, however, is quality control. The Stride gum factories in Metropolis, for instance, have a severe problem with kryptonite getting into various batches of Stride (which, compared to every other business and residence in the Metropolis/Smallville regional area, is not so bad, really, because kryptonite gets into just about everything in a 200-mile radius). The promotional strategy to combat potential negative publicity from kryptonite gum is an effective one: A lot of One Republic shows are held in the Stride gum factory, sometimes as many as two a week!

With integrated brand promotion that good, you could put arsenic in your gum and still outsell Trident! Not that Cadbury-Schweppes, the company that makes both Stride and Trident (and more importantly Cadbury Eggs), really cares which brand of gum outsells the other brand they ALSO make. You know who does care about that, though? Advertising Principles professors who assign you (me) to write about the sales strategies for Trident gum. I tell ya, I really thought Stride and Trident were the same brand, but it turns out they are way different (Trident is for old people, apparently).

Keeping in mind that I could not tell Stride and Trident gum apart even when I was specifically assigned to tell them apart, the ad wizards at Cadbury-Schweppes must have realized that the only way to get me to care about gum is to have Superman flat-out tell me to chew it.

Actually, it might be best to have Laura Vandervoort tell me, but that's splitting Kryptonian hairs. Pass the Forever Fruit Stride!