Spyware make you wanna say BLAAAARGH

It's never fun to go to sleep leaving a problem unresolved, but sometimes that's all you can do. The worst instance of that for me was the time I tried to locate a hundred dollars I KNEW I had hidden somewhere in my apartment, only to forget where exactly it was. While most people are satisfied with the security a jar of mayo in the fridge provides for a couple of twenties, I am too clever for that, and also too clever for myself, having secreted the cash to a location I couldn't recall even a day later. So I spent a couple of hours moving around all my bookshelves and clothes before finally giving up and just going to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, the very first thing I did was go to my dresser and pull the money out of a sock. And that is the story of why Raven and Tortoise do not get along.

Last night was about the same, except that the "money" was my "registry" and "forgetting where I hid the money" was "not knowing how to remove this spyware .dll from my registry without it reinstalling itself." Again, eventually all I could do was pack it in and go to sleep. And sure enough, I woke up this morning, booted in safe mode, and sent that little fucker to .dll hell inside of 20 minutes. And that is why Spider makes its webs.

Although having your computer exhibit unapproved functionality sucks, I count my blessings at times like this that I don't have any cybernetic implants that could be infected with similar malware. And that's why I'm glad I'm not Tony Stark, the invincible Iron Man. At one point, he had a skin of artificial nerve circuitry and a chip in his spine so he could walk, and of course this led to him getting hacked by a corporate nemesis.

However, instead of just being forced to look at a bunch of inappropriate banner ads, Stark had it much worse, suffering a bio-override that he could only combat by staying in his Iron Man suit permanently. Whenever he took off all or a piece of the armor, his motor functions were vulnerable to remote control, like in this completely un-doctored scene from "Armor Wars II" where the villian forces Stark to wave his arm:

Dastardly! Eventually, Stark fixed the problem, but not by booting up in safe mode. No, he fixed it with REPULSOR RAYS! TO THE FACE!

But suppose Stark was never able to fix the problem, and he always had to wear the armor. In that case, it would be safe to assume that he would not take news of the new "Minority Report-like interface" well, as it does not require the use of "pesky gloves or silly headgear." All the man has left in his life are pesky gloves and silly headgear, and he will use them with your interface whether they are required or not. And that is why Tiger has his stripes.

PREVIOUSLY: Iron Man is a Futurist.