Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Smoke Some Weed, Eat Some Bell...

What the hell...?!? Eat some bell?

There's an exciting proposition that has been hanging in the air like so much smoke for a couple of years now between me and anyone I go to Taco Bell with, which has included such disparate entities as the former Miss Teen USA and your mama, and that proposition is free food for me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have a deeply American soul, and so I won't just take your handouts of free food. I want to work for it. I want to entertain for it. I want to create for you, my constituency, a spectacular spectacularrrrre! And the deal has stood for years...if you buy me three grilled stuft burritos, I will eat them in under ten minutes, or double your money back.

And you know something? That's exactly what I did. And then I had a whiskey and sprite, and went to sleep, converting the sum total of tacos into pure metabolic fuel (PMF).

Thank you and have a pleasant Saturday.