There have been times in the past where I have gone to a party, had some beers, taken some pills, snorted some lines, smoked some reefer, bonged more of what was available in all the previous categories, jumped over fire, and caught the whole shebang on film. Of the whole shebang, there have been times when I posted a picture or two here to share how radically rad me and mine are in that kind of environment. But not tonight.
No. Tonight, instead of sharing a picture, I would like to share a conversation that I had, that actually happened, that I engaged in, with another person. This whole thing, on her end, at least, is totally genuine, serious, and all other things for real. I was trying my best, but my level of sincerity hasn't really risen above "iffy" since kindergarten, when my teacher made me sit in the hall for five minutes for shouting, and I swore revenge on all humanity for the indignity. And I only gave it my best shot in this latest instance because this woman (let's call her Dinah) loudly announced to all within earshot that she had broken off a marriage today, and was really fuckin' excited about meetin' so many goddamn great people here tonight. Woot!
Anyway, I did my best. To set the scene, I'm having a conversation with John about my physical therapy, and how the televisions in the physical therapy studio are all set to Fox News, which really fuckin' sucks.
Me: Yeah, so all the TVs are set to Fox News, which really fuckin' sucks!
John: Yeah. That sucks.
Dinah(!!!): I don't even watch TV anymore.
Me: Well, I'd agree with not watching the news channels in general, but there's some good stuff on TV, too.
Dinah: Yeah, but I find TV too distracting. I'd rather read a book.
Me: I would say that a book is more distracting than TV.
Dinah: I'd just rather discuss something, y'know? Like, read a book and talk about it with someone?
Me: Oh, okay... well, have you read that new John Irving book? [What I am reading right now. I thought about saying Harry Potter because if she was reading something right now, duh. But I was honestly going for sincerity here, and I'm not reading Harry Potter. I'm reading John Irving.]
Dinah: The new one, or any John Irving?
Me: Either one, really.
Dinah: No. But I did read King Leopold's Ghost.
Me: Oh? What's that about, is it fiction?
Dinah: No, it's about slavery.
Me: An historical work then? Kinda like Roots, I guess? Because I read the first couple of pages of Roots.
Dinah: No, it's deeper than Roots.
Me: So you read Roots, too?
Dinah: No, but I saw the TV movie.
It's funny because everything she said hangs together, logically. King Leopold's Ghost effectively trumps Roots because Roots was on TV. My only regret is that Dinah is too smart to ever be my friend.
omg, i laughed so hard i pissed all over myself.
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