Late at night I watch trailers.

If Sin City is a tenth as good as the trailer makes it out to be, it will be the greatest film ever by a factor of ten.

Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau? Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

Kevin Costner is a baseball hero again? Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

Matthew McConaughey as Dirk Pitt? Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

No, I don't want to watch your stupid XXX sequel. Wait, did you say Willem Dafoe? I'll take two viewings of your fine sequel, please.

Scrooged: The Director's Cut

If you're watching Scrooged tonight on ABC Family, you may have noticed that at the beginning of the movie, during the IBC promo for "Charles Dickens' Immortal Scrooge," as designed by Francis Xavier Cross, that the clip of an exploding airplane ("International Terrorism") was cut. And it's a likely bet that it's been cut for a couple of years now. But they left in the clips about "Freeway Killers" and "Drug Addiction," and I'd say those things are just as cut-worthy, if you're going to start pussy-footing around that shit. I'm just saying, is all. Happy Holidays.

BJ, Claire, a flower, a beer

Comic Tidbits! Tidbits! One More TIME! TIDBITS!

The word tidbits means nothing to me now.

But what does mean not nothing to me is the news that the JLI team of Giffen, DeMatteis, and Maguire are doing a Defenders series for Marvel. I only mention because Giffen said in an interview, "The Defenders are the group that if they seem like they don't like one another, they don't! The Defenders hate one another. They've been thrown together and despise it. There's no love lost between these guys." Which is just interesting because the JLI was a buddy group, and (paraphrasing Giffen here), "Who would want to be in a group that was fighting all the time?" Should be an interesting kind of about-face with the Defenders.

And Gail Simone and John Byrne doing Action Comics together is really just super-neat.

Going to the Skate Place

Sharing a Moment

Burning a Couch

These pictures were all taken at a party thrown for the purpose of burning old furniture, including a couch. That couch deserved it, though.

Hardcore

Costumes

What's the matter with you, Ra?

I really like the video for Felix Da Housecat's "Sinnerman," but I couldn't tell you what it has to do with a toy shark! Probably nothing!

A New Album to Buy

Fun facts about Severina Vucovic:

• Severina Vuckovic was born in the city of Split in the country of Croatia on April 21, 1972.
• She grew up with a love of music and began singing at local events.
• In 1998 she released her first album Djevojka Sa Sela translated as Village Girl and it became an instant success in her native country.
• Although she accomplished great fame in Croatia, she made international news in 2004 by having steamy monkey sex, filming it, and having the tape stolen and released on the internet.

I did a mock-up of what her American debut album cover will probably look like. I even used real Croatian garble!

Total Crisis starring Iris

Blade III worked for me!

Some notes:

• I think it's telling that Hannibal King used minidiscs, and Abigail Whistler had an iPod. But I only think that because I have minidiscs.
• Parker Posey as Danica Talos? Best over-the-top bitch EVAH!
  

Filter Crazy

Going Shopping Shoppin!

Pig Pillow! Yes! Wait...I'm sorry pillow kiosk, I just don't think I can spend $19.95 (American) on a pig pillow.


I'm sorry, Express Men. I just don't think I can buy the clip part of a money clip for twenty-two dollars (American).

Wednesdays Rock!

Ok, first off: Ethan Rom? Come on! Rom: Spaceknight. Obviously, the other people on the island are from space. Or the Microverse.

I did a scientific experiment today. I started with the hypothesis that Wednesday is the greatest day of the week. I then proceeded to test this hypothesis with new episodes of Smallville, Lost, South Park, and Drawn Together, and new issues of New Avengers, Intimates, and Ultimates. I also went shopping! Yeah! And came out of the day net $100. I swear, sometimes I'm the most perfect little consumer worker drone. Anyway, the data points conclusively to Wednesday being the greatest day of the week.

Smallville: When I watch this episode again, I'm only gonna be watching about two minutes of it. But it was freakin' sweet to see that premonition of Lex being a white-suited doucheldorf comme ca first season again.

South Park: I think it's funny when dogs use pistols to commit suicide. And the Lemmiwinks reference was freakin' sweet.

Smallville (again): Lana was right about the Peking duck. That shit takes longer. Other than that, though, she's the worst, and not at all freakin' sweet.

Lost: Maybe I suck at watching TV, but I don't remember any part of this episode telling me if Jack did or did not make that putt.

New Avengers: Cool Sentry and Spider-Man stuff. Stupid Cage and Spider-Woman and Captain America stuff. No Wolverine or Iron Man stuff. Bendis can do better.

Smallville: "Hey, how long has it been since we've had Clark and Lana kiss and it was a dream, hoax, or imaginary story?"
"About five episodes."
"Sounds like it's time to do that shit AGAIN."

Ultimates: Say...this had great moments from everyone and promises of more such to come, not to mention stuff actually happening. I can't store this issue next to New Avengers #1, because U makes NA cry.

New Avengers: I mean, here's the entire issue: "Electro frees all the criminals in Ryker's, and The Sentry showed up after a couple of years of not being in any books."

Ultimates: And Paul Mounts is probably all, "Aw, nuts."

Superman/Batman #15: This is gonna be one for the ol' hardcover. DOES NOT SUCK. And I made all of you a funny picture out of the best part. Did I say funny and best? I meant tragic and tragicest.

Bath Time Movie Review with Tom

Aeon Flux Colon Movie Film

I can share birthday with famous peoples?

I share a birthday with Conan O'Brien and Rick Moranis. There's two to work into the ol' small talk. Also, Melissa Joan Hart and Bob Hastings (TV's Batman's Animated Series' Gotham City's Commissioner James Gordon), but those two I'll be keeping closer to my sleeve. My BIRTHDAY TALK sleeve.

This is your Sifl and Olly reference for the day.

Gwen Stefani

Harajuku is Tokyo's teenager town, a shopping and entertainment district for the young and trendy. Many small stores, boutiques, restaurants and cafes can be found in the area. It is located in Shibuya-ku, north of the Shibuya shopping district and just next to the entrance of the Meiji Shrine and Yoyogi Park.

Love Angel Music Baby is infectious. The more Hot Damn you drink, the better it sounds. Science proves this.

Harajuku's main attraction is the Takeshita Street, a narrow and busy pedestrian street featuring various small stores.

I guess Dr. Dre is the best producer. He did produce the best track. Well, gee, they're all good. Except "Hollaback Girl." That one sucks.

The Omotesando, sometimes refered to as Tokyo's Champs-Elysees, is a broad avenue lined with trees that starts just outside of Harajuku Station.

Johnny Vulture and Andre 3000 are the same guy.

It is recommended to visit Harajuku on weekends when Japan's teenage culture can be observed best.

Tom met a possum.

Laurie + Promethea = Illumination

Fierce!

It's okay, I know CPR.

Awesome Fight Dudes!

More Party? Okay, if you insist!

Phillip's Head Screwdriver

I thought I was being exceedingly clever in coming up with a new drink name. But someone beat me to it:

3 oz Vodka
3 1/2 oz Orange Juice
3 1/2 oz Milk

Woo! I dare me to try that later today. Alright, me, you're on.

On the next episode of Merv at the Movies: I puke, and Tom eats it.

A Place to Forget Yourself, In My Arms Tonight

The first time I heard Rufus Wainwright was on the soundtrack for the Adam Sandler movie "Big Daddy." There was a time when I would have said without hesitation that this is where most people had heard him first, if they had heard him at all. But since then, he's also had tracks in "Moulin Rouge" and "Shrek 2," so I can only imagine there's a couple hundred million dollars worth of audience that have heard him first since Sandler's flick. The "Big Daddy" soundtrack was brought to my attention by two good friends at the time, especially Wainwright's track, "Instant Pleasure." It's a good one.

Since then, I think it's fair to say that my knowledge of the artist surpasses either of my friends', in album-purchasing dedication if nothing else. I have purchased, either for myself or as a gift, Rufus Wainwright, Poses, and Want. And today, Want Two is being released.

But I've been listening to Wainwright's self-titled debut album tonight. It's a good one.

It'd be pretty hard and difficult and hard and stupid to argue that that album is Wainwright's best work, his finest attempt at musical craftsmanship. Artists get better the more they do (sometimes). However, chances are slim that he will ever release another record that I will like as well. It's of a time and place for me, and I'm again in that time and place, so it's been a tad extra significant of late. Extra significant like!:

You gave me all your love in one day
You gave it all and almost faded away
Well I'm gonna take this sad unread issue
In my arms tonight
Looking at hospitals Victorian
Feeling as helpless as the Elephant Man
Wish you were here
to chain you up without shame
In my arms tonight

Except, when I take the sad unread issue, I actually do take a comic that's been sitting on an unread stack of comics for two years and read it out of pity because of sad and stupid desperation.

But hey, at least there's a new album of music coming out today!

UPDATE: In 2008, I am no longer this whiny.

Tom is a real pink thing.

Karaoke Revolution 3 didn't ship today.

The Luke Collection

This is what happens when Luke drinks vodka.

Broncos win!

Politics can be controversial

I thought this was pretty funny, so I took a picture.

Notes on Astonishing X-Men #6

• "Sentient Worlds Observation and Response Department." Shit. Holy shit. HOLY UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A SHIT PADDLE SHIT. Wow. wow. That is cool.
  
• When Wolvie makes reference to having only two words for Colossus, but then does not say those two words, this is what we comic aficionados call an "insider joke." Wink. fastball special.
• I can't recall if I had another favorite couple in comics before now, but if I did, those suckers done been replaced by Kitty and Peter. 4-EVAH!

Encore

So besides the fact that "Mosh" is already dated (before the album has even been released), and Nate Dogg continues to be fantastic at crooning da hop-hip, all I have to say is this:

Em, what the hell do you think you're doing committing an entire track to rebuffing a PUPPET? For future raperrific reference, the arm coming out of Triumph's ass belongs to a man by the name of Robert Smigel. And no, I won't require any royalties for that detective work. Ya jackass.

Pundit Strike File!

Dear America: We hate you. Thanks for nothing, you commie pinko redneck hippie neocon ducks. Sincerely, Marv and PB.

P.S. Dear Peter Jennings: You fucking rock. Fuck Rather.

P.P.S. What What What What What MICKLETHWAIT!

P.P.P.S. The 'PB' is for 'Peanut Butter.'

Call Me!

Oh man that is rich.

Election Night Drinking Game

Halloween 2k4